LIFE'S METAMORPHOSIS

A NEW YEAR'S POEM

2012-01-05T19:36:00.000-08:00

I know this is kinda late for posting anything about new year (well, perhaps not, cuz I have tonnes of things to update about the summary of my life journey in 2011 and what's happening recently. Stay tuned :)) but I just wanna share a simple poem that was created by me which summarizes everything that I wanted to say and wish about the new year.

In a year's time, many unexpected things will just pop out,

like it used to be every year out.

People come, people go,

Greater responsibilities and commitments shall make us grow.

As much as this year will offer us greater things to do,
2011 had also been a great year too.
While we take some time to embrace the good old days,
The bad ones had also taught us great lessons and make us who we are today.

It's the end of the past, and the beginning of the future,
But God will still be with us, and that's for sure.
Thank you all who have been a blessing to me,
In everything, to God be the Glory!

Blessed New Year everyone!

Love,

~Karen Phang~

IT'S TIME

2011-12-27T05:28:00.000-08:00

Christmas had just passed, and it seems like it's different from any other Christmas. While the reason and the purpose of celebrating this joyous occasion remains the same since the beginning, yet the celebration with different situations and different ones that made it different.

Despite all the busyness and all the mess that came along before this meaningful day, and with exam mood and graduation mood not helping at all, I wish to thank God for His perfect timing that I thought I can never achieve my goal or plan to make certain decisions and to spend time with my loved ones.

The Lord really spoke to me in His own personal ways, just like how did my Pastor prophesied the other day to me, when I was down searching for answers and thought I was forgotten. But the Lord is always gracious, merciful, kind, and loving, that He opened my eyes to even the simple things in life. And once again, I am reminded that I was not forgotten.

One of it is the answer to my dilemma of continuing my degree in UK. It was a clear cut answer after praying for months. Although a 'no' might seem sad and disappointment for people, but I see it as another blessing and also another opportunity for me to walk a different journey with the Lord.

Another is the chance to have quality time spent with my family and friends and the gifts and small gestures given and shown by them. Although I am not particular and mind about the item of the gifts, but what I appreciate most is the genuine hearts that was shown out in action.Now, it's 4 days before New Year.

Before I start counting down the days and make my so called 'resolution', hopefully I am able to make time to list down the things and remember the people that added colors to the events in my life. I am also trying hard to make the full use of the last 4 days in year 2011. Who knows, we might just touch or bless someone's life? or miracle might just happen?

~SELAH~

SORRY

2011-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry...for not being an obedient daughter;

Sorry...for not being a caring sister;

Sorry...for not being a good listener to my friends;

Sorry...for not being a hardworking student;

Sorry...for not being a submissive follower;

Sorry...for not being a good role model as a leader;

Sorry...for not being appreciative;

Sorry...for not trusting;

Sorry...for not being a real child of God;

Sorry...for who I am...

MONEY NO ENOUGH?

2011-07-04T08:40:00.001-07:00

Recently, I caught myself into a conversation with few of my classmates about financial issue, a topic that I've always try to avoid. What made us started that topic was because we were lamenting about how slow was the PTPTN loan to enter in our bank accounts and that we are owing the college fees.

What surprises me is that, too often we are so caught up and drown with the things of the world and slowly without us realizing, we take every little thing for granted and not being thankful of what we have.

Friend Y started: "Why is PTPTN taking so long to bank in our account? Do you know that I just asked my mom to increase my allowances?! Where got enough nowadays.."

Me: "wah, do you mind telling increase to how much?"
Friend Y: "From RM700 to RM800".
Me: (Jaw dropped) "That's alot. Tak cukup meh?"
Y: "Of course not enough la..need to pay rent,need to eat, need transport..." (her rent is only RM150)
Friend S: "Yalor, that's alot. Mine only RM500-RM600 (exclude rental)"
Me: (Jaw dropped again)"That's also alot leh!"
Y replied to S: "Aiya, you every weekend also go back hometown mah, can eat at home, my hometown very far, have to eat outside leh during weekends."

Then Friend L said: "Wah, you all ah. I go back every weekend also my allowance only RM300-350."
To not make Friend L feel so bad about her low-allowance, I told her that I think majority of the student's allowance is also between RM300-400. Since I was in the conversation, I knew I had to say something. So before they asked, I said: "You all ah, better be thankful. I got no allowance from parents at all. I'm self-finance. Of course my working brother and sister got give me a little bit of pocket money, and I help my aunt during the weekends then she gives me some pocket money also. PTPTN also tak cukup. But at least that can pay my fees. But thank God provide and I survived."

Well, I expected silence. This is not the first time. Sometimes I felt that they don't believe what I say because their reaction was like: "Are you sure don't get any allowances? Then how you survive?!"

Seriously, I also don't know how I survived. Yes, sometimes I do go for outings, makan-makan, shopping. But that was done by saving up a portion first, or I make sure it's necessary. I do get ashamed, and frustrated at times when friends ask me to go makan/ outing/ kai-kai and my reason is 'no money' but yet I want to fellowship and have fun with them.

3 days ago, the PTPTN loan was banked into our accounts. Today, RM3k just gone in a blink of an eye. I have to admit that I feel sad that I don't have the luxury like my friends do, to use the extra bit from that loan to go shopping/makan-makan or outings. But I'm glad and thankful that I can use that amount of money to pay up all my debts (which include college fees, rentals, bills, groceries...)

At times, I do feel guilty about myself. I thought 'I should study harder so that I can get good grades and get a scholarship so that I don't need to apply loan so that I don't need to owe and pay back people so that the other hard earn incomes I can use to buy my stuff...or shouldn't study and just go work to earn money for the family and bla..bla..bla..'

But to think of how God really provides for all my needs all these while, even times when I left only with coins, it's really beyond my understanding.

Learning to be a good steward of God. :)

TAKE ME HOME

2011-05-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

How many times we tell God that we just couldn't hold on anymore and is desperate to ask Him to take us home and that His answer is to STAY until I want you home?

IS IT?

2011-04-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

Is it because of our own sin that we see no blessings in our lives?

Is it only when tragedies happen only we grow closer with our loved ones?

Is it only when bad things happened then only we realize and decided to turn over a new leaf?

Is it because our past hurt so bad that we blame it and can't move on in live?

Is it only when all else fails only then we turn to God?

DILEMMA OF A 21 YEARS OLD GIRL

2011-04-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

Months before my 21st birthday, I was much excited about on how shall my 'big day' be celebrated. Not worrying much about the finance, I was trying hard to come out with a list of guest that I would want to share this happy moment with. Soon, I got tired and bored about the plan. Nothing seems to came up. I gave up the plan.

A thought then hit me. 21 years old. So what? Not like anyone would wanna notice, well, except for the reminder that you're a year older & bragging about reaching the 'legal age' or 'freedom' age.

I couldn't care much about the number. Although in reality, age really does matter, especially when dealing with legal stuff. What really matters is the life that I'm gonna live and how would it be painted -where maturity and growth was my concern.

Freedom, after all wasn't a big deal to me. It was given to me unexpectedly when I was much younger. I had the freedom to choose many things that others my age back then wouldn't have the chance to do so; What school I wanted to to study in, which college to be in, which friends to mix with, what kind of life to live in... But it wasn't all. Somehow I didn't have the freedom to choose everything that I wish or hope for. But I had the freedom to make decisions in life.

Though I had to admit that I'm feeling a little regretful of not making it 'the day', I'm glad that I'm still leading a simple, normal life, enjoying not the world's riches, but His. :)

EMOTIONAL JUNKS

2011-03-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

As usual, we can't run away from life's frustration. Some face it directly, some chose to hide, some kept quite, but after a long time, they just burst it out. Will I soon be the third one?

So what now? Yes, I'm emo. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. All because of people. Yea, though at times I blame myself. And I found out, that other than talking to God, or writing it out, it's hard for me to share with people about my problems. People also have their own problems, I do not want to disturb them.

Why we like to say things and we don't do? Why do we emo for no reason? Why we like to self-pity? Why we are being so irresponsible? Why we always think we are right? Why we like to judge? Why do we like to compare?

Why...Why...Why... So whatever...I'm human too.

THE GREATEST GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS

2010-12-23T01:28:00.000-08:00

When I was much younger, I used to wait in anticipation for my gifts to arrive as Christmas draws near. That was all I was excited for when it came to Christmas. I also remembered my siblings and I used to 'guess' on what will we be getting for our Christmas presents, and I've always wish for a stationary set or a perfect dress.

As years went by, the number of gifts seem meaningless to me. It decreases. What I wanted or wish for was more than just gifts. I wanted 'quality' gifts. I wish for a new handphone, a laptop, a MP4, a car... the list goes on. These selfish desires brought disappointments and frustrations after all whenever Christmas draws near.

Not until I found and received the greatest gift of all. This special gift, is given to all mankind. A gift that no one else can offer or take it away. It's the gift of salvation. When Jesus was born into this world, in Him we found hope. For many, hope is just a wish, a dream. But hope does exist.

Christmas, can be just another festival; when the decorations are down, the carols are unsung, when gifts are unwrapped, and turkeys are not in the menu. But Christmas is full of hope, because Jesus is the reason that we celebrate.

Now, I've found a better reason to celebrate this joyous occasion. For me, the day when Jesus was born, speaks about hope. And since Christmas falls at the end of the year, it gives me even greater hope to face the new year ahead.

No more wish list for me anymore, because the greatest gift had been given to me. It's a timeless gift that you and I can ever have. Pass it on today.

~have a blessed Christmas~

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

2010-10-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

Is it even true? Why?! Ever imagine I'll be like that? No, I'm not. What should I do?

UNTITLED

2010-09-04T02:59:00.000-07:00

Recently, there are many things that happen. In a blink of an eye, the 1st Semester of my advanced diploma had just passed. Phew~ exam done. What's next is holiday.. but yea right...ho..li..day.. so reluctant to say this word.. cuz I know I never really had a HOLIDAY! Too much things to settle 'till I don't know where to start.

You know, I'm just so tired and exhausted. But giving up is the last thing I ever have in mind. People are so funny, mysterious, bizarre, out-of-control and etc..they are just so hard to comprehend. And don't know why I'll feel sad and pity towards a person even though they've done something wrong or things that hurt me.

Actually there are many things to share..but I forgot them all... =.=''

LIFE'S LIKE THIS

2010-07-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

Okay~~It's been sooo long since I've wrote here.. Well, live has been crazy! I mean it was fun in a way though, 'cuz being able to ride in this roller coaster has taught me life most important lessons. Emotions...feelings...thoughts... just flood my life, and words couldn't explain how much I appreciate my life.

Sometimes, things doesn't go the way it seems..yet sometimes it can be so ironic, that you just don't seem to understand what life is all about. You just go along with the flow. And it's funny how we've seen such situation, and thought that we can handle it only to realize that it wasn't so easy after all. We were kids then.

20years of my life, never thought that certain things can change to 360degree...yet some are on the way..and some it's still parallel..going back to square one..

Though I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I know that there is a drastic change going to happen in my life. It's just a matter of time. =D

FRIEND

2010-06-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

What is meant to have a friend? what is meant to be a friend? when there's circumstances...and misunderstandings...how would a friend react? I don't know Lord...I lift my friend to you...

FALSE AND FAKE

2010-06-10T23:33:00.000-07:00

No more false hope...no more fake promise..no more sweet lies...

Pls...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2010-05-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

Though I may not wish my mum a happy mother's day...but in my heart..I know she hears..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY..

Hope to see you smile in my dreams...

LITLLE UPDATES

2010-04-12T02:14:00.000-07:00

Wow..it's been a looooong time since I updated my blog. Haiz..don't know what to write...too many things to say..haha... (why am I syok sendiri here??!!)

Okay..nevermind... Let me talk about college and CF, 'cuz that's what basically I'm busy with. This semester is the last semester, which means I'm graduating soon from diploma. Having my exams now, just finished a subject, next paper is on 22nd. In between and after my second paper I'll be working, until first week of May. (Wow...May!) Then, there goes another battleground- Advance Diploma!

Little did I know that 2 years have past so fast. 2 years have shape me a lot..in one way or another. Somehow, my heart is heavy..I realized some of friends are leaving soon..classmates, coursemates, seniors... Words could not describe the confused feelings I'm going through. Well, if fate allows, I shall meet all these wonderful people again.

Before I get any more emotional, I shall concentrate on what I should do in the future. Been worrying this and that (as usual)..especially financially..ahh...!! The Lord is my Jehovah Jireh!! He is my Shepherd!! Yea..

About CF, I believe there's gonna be a great revival. The Lord has given me an assurance, that things will change. But, the greater the change, the greater the challenges. It's time to tell myself that 'I'M READY' ...and the Lord is always faithful, He won't let us go through temptation/ tribulations that are greater than our ability.

My classmates of 5 semesters.

Last CF of the third semester- Easter Special: "It Is Finished"6/4/2010

~falling sick soon~ :(

UNSPEAKABLE

2010-03-13T07:59:00.000-08:00

Seems like there's no 'free' time in my dictionary.. Affter CNY, I've been busy with CPR (Committee Planning Retreat), 3rd semester..and that spells assignments, fees, exams and bla bla bla....then I went to leadership camp, organised by SAD (Student Affairs Department)..and still there's bla..bla..bla...

As life goes on, I realized there are many things are yet to come. I'm not in the mood to explain now. But somehow, there are 3 things that I always keep in mind.

1) That everything happens for a reason.

2) In all things, give thanks.

3) Never give up.

Nah..I hope I'll still be the same KAREN.. (sori i'm emo-ing so i just post a happy pic here. This pic was taken at a belated CNY celebration recently :D )

ME...yeah me....

CHINESE NEW YEAR 2010

2010-02-23T01:43:00.000-08:00

I can't really remember how I used to spent my CNY. But for this year...it's a memory...

It's the only year that my family did a reunion dinner..well after my father been told to do so by someone..but at least better than nothing. Although a reunion dinner that is not so united, because of the absent of my mother, I think it's a blessing from God...Ok..no sad post please...

On the first day of CNY, we went to church as usual (because it's a Sunday huh..!). Almost everyone was wearing red..haha...me included! Although we were in church, but the tradition of giving ang-pao (red packet) is no less done by the married adults. After the service, we went to a family house to have lunch. After lunch, pastor drove me and my eldest brother along with his wife to Ipoh. What a way to save transport money..hehe...cuz Ipoh is where their hometown is and so is my dad's.

We reached Ipoh in the evening...and it was a hot, hot day...more or less hot as it was in KL. I was shocked to meet my cousins as they were really tall and muscular (for the guy) although they were younger than us. I wonder why all of us, I mean me and my sibling are all so petite and short...lol...

Second day of new year, me and my bro went Ipoh Jusco to meet up with Kenny Ng and Michelle Tan..our CF senior...glad to see them.. Since time wasn't allowing us to do much, we just went yam cha (twice at two different places).

In the evening, my uncle took us to a club- Meru Valley. Didn't expect to meet my other aunt there. At the club, guess what we did...my bro and the guy cousin went to gym and me and the girl cousin went cycling! After that we even went swimming.. What a joke...working out on the second day of CNY? (no wonder we are so fit..lol..:-p) Haha...no less we had much fun catching up with one another..

After a long tiring session of sports, we went for dinner at a restaurant that serves home-cook pizza (I think something like that la) 'cuz they use charcoal instead of oven to bake the pizza. Well, I gotta describe some things about this restaurant. When we first went in, the environment is like this- the place was crowded and the song was blasting away!! This is not a pub man... We had to wait for awhile as there were no available sits for us. The restaurant was quite small tho..

When we were finally ushered to be sited, my aunts and uncle (and me) started to complain about the loudness of the song. Then when the waitress came and serve us, my uncle ask her to lower down the volume. Her answer was shocking..."O..I'm so sorry but our boss wants it that way...we can't change the volume, it's the policy..' she said... Wow... When my uncle started ordering the food, he had to shout to the waitress...well, you know..'cuz it's so hard to listen to people's voice because of the high volume of the music! My uncle then beh tahan already so he straight call the boss. Hah! the boss is a angmo-lang! My uncle then repeat the plead, but failed. The boss said "I'm sorry, many other people also had been complaining but it's the policy... The reason why we put the music loud it's because we do not want customers to sit long here..maximum around 45 minutes..because of the limited space as you can see..". Amazing...this is the first time I heard a boss saying such things...lol... My uncle then told us that that will be his last time visiting that restaurant...haha...

On Tuesday, my uncle and aunt brought us to a place called 'Clearwater'. There, suppose can go fishing, but we didn't have the 'mood' because later we have to head back to KL. Ate ais-kacang.. Also first time seeing huge bowl of ais-kacang.. 2 person share 1 bowl... haha..

Our bus to KL time was at 5pm..me and my brother had a hard time in the bus because it was traffic jam! Supposedly the travel distance is only 2hours but this is 5hours journey. Sigh...it was dark at that time in the bus, I couldn't read, nor could I sleep or hear any song..I just stare out the window..looking at road forlornly.. Plus, I was very hungry until I almost finish the tidbits my aunt packed for me to give my family..

CNY in Ipoh is just as simple as that...didn't really eat much 'cuz we went at the wrong time! No shop was open...lol... O ya..I was so looking forward to CNY until I forget it was Valentine's Day too... :-p And I'm sad 'cuz no photo was taken!!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

2010-01-30T22:22:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how strangers become friends, but it's sad when friends become stranger. Betrayal, unfaithfulness, dishonest, friendships that end up into relationship that doesn't work, lost of contact and the list goes on. One other reason is that, there are no reasons to why the friendship end. That is one thing I really don't understand.

I've known you quite some time. You are talented, strong, have your own style, good modesty, and a nice person. We don't live very far away, and communication is not a problem. In fact, we've hang out together and shared stories. But recently, I don't understand why you acted this way.

You are being bias. Why must you say such words? Aren't we the same, belong to the same circle of friends? You acted holy, but your pride had taken control over you. You called others a hypocrite, but don't you know that when you call others a hypocrite, you are even more hypocritical? I don't understand.

I used to feel pity towards you, about your life. I've prayed for you, but you never know. I care for you, but you just turn your face away from me. I'm sorry if I've offended you, but you need not to act this way. You can come and talk to me. And I thought I was in the wrong, but I see, you treated not only me, but all of us in this manner. We are really disappointed.

If you want to compare and be the best of all of us, it's ok, we let you. Go, and take the fame you want, you can show all your talent, you can be whoever you want to be. We don't have the right to tell you what to do and it's not obligated for you to be the friends we used to be.

And if you hope that people would remember the good deeds you've done or people will look up to you as somebody, please remember that all these things will come back to you if you stay humble. You need not to go around and tell or repeat the good works you have done so others can notice. And if you want others to respect you, please respect others first.

Although I really don't understand why suddenly our friendship has been so cold, but I hope you just have to wake up. If not, you are the one who is going to loose friends, not me.

I hope you are reading this. And if you ter-rasa, yes, it's you I'm talking about.

SHOPPING? THINK TWICE...

2010-01-11T07:02:00.000-08:00

Last week I went to the pasar malam (night market) near my housing area after for so long. It was drizzling though, but I still went with my umbrella because I wanted to buy something. Upon reaching there, needless to say there were hordes of people trying to get their way through with their umbrellas! I felt it was so pathetic and I decided to close my umbrella and walked in the rain.

Then, when I was looking through the things at one of the stalls, there were two people who think that they own that stall was blocking the way! Haiz...I mean make way for people la...others also want to buy things ok..

That was fine. Worst still, there was a lady who brought her child in a BIG stroller! I was like...we are also having hard time walking through the crowds and you brought your child with the stroller?! Never mind...

Another thing I can't tolerate is that people like to block the way..especially the entrance.. Haiz..so selfish and inconsiderate... This not only goes to pasar malam but everywhere as long as you are walking...in supermarkets...college... and it annoys you even more when they are having conversations in the middle of the walk way or when couples walking extremely slow... Hello..this is not taman...

Maybe it's because I'm a fast walker. You will see me in a fast pace although I'm shopping...

THE END OF THE BEGINNING

2009-12-28T03:03:00.000-08:00

While waiting for the clock to strive 12 midnight on 31st December 2009, here am I, reminiscing the year that had just past me by.

365 days means a lot. Sometimes, I felt that days are the same, but time is getting shorter. A year has come and gone, and there's no use to sit and mourn for everything that we have missed, because we have gained something else.

Forget about new year's resolution. I shall do what is supposed to be done and wait for God's perfect timing. As the saying goes "Man proposes, God disposes". Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.

In a years time, many unexpected things will just pop out, like it used to be for every past year. New people would just walk into my life, and I hope the old one stays. In a years time, I will be older, which means commitments and responsibilities too will increase. In a years time too, there will be changes in many ways, but some will remain the same.

As much as next year will offer me greater things to do, this year had also been a great year for me, despite all the small pebbles that had caused me to stumble. There are too much things to take into my life's account, but there are few things that had made me of who I am today.

Not to forget in 2010, I'm looking forward to graduate from my diploma and proceed to advance diploma. Just wanna thank everyone who have been with me..the new friends that I've made and mostly the Lord who carried me through...

Happy New Year =)

SPORTS AND ME

2009-12-15T09:17:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was in primary and secondary school, I love sports. I wanted to take part in various sports and be like those who represent the school to play in competitions and matches. But chances are not on my side. I began to search for that opportunity when I entered college.

Floorball, when was first introduced to me, was quite taken aback as I've never heard such sports before. Anyway, I gave myself a chance to explore in this sport. The seniors in CF had been very kind and patient enough in guiding me in this sport.

However, to be good and master at something, consistency, practices, together with passion and love must be present. Although I've been playing floorball for one year, but I have not been very committed. To be committed too, need sacrifices (in terms of time and money).

Recently, there was a floorball match that was organized by Selangor Floorball League. This league took almost two months (every Saturday), and I'm glad that I was part of it. I can't say I played well, but I gave my best and truly enjoyed every match. By the grace of God, our team (Salibandy! Co) grabbed the third place out of 10 teams.

Now that the league had finished, doesn't mean that I will stop playing floorball. Second semester is coming to an end, which means final exam is here! So I need to be disciplined and set my priorities right.

(PS: I still love other sports and I'm happy to own a floorball stick! Thanks to Alvin and Alice.=))

IT JUST HAPPEN

2009-11-19T18:49:00.000-08:00

My previous post was super emo. This morning, when I woke up, I just felt very 'fresh', as though a weigh of burden had left me. I felt a peace in me, an assurance. Although I can't really explain what had happened to me, but it just happened.

Before this, I felt many things. I felt that I couldn't trust anyone...I felt that no one actually cared for me...I felt that I'm useless, because I like to complain and stuff like that. Whatever people say I believe and follow..

But now, I'm starting to do a reflection on myself. A time for me to really speak to God, and open the road wide enough to let Him work in my life. Time is getting shorter. Procrastinate no more.

Anyway, I can't promise that there will not be any emo post.

SPEECHLESS

2009-11-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

It's been a harsh time for me. Sick and tired and fed up. But still holding on. Wish that I do not need to make decision everyday..or think or even care about anything....I just wish....'coz I;m tired of thinking...I'm tired of listening...I'm tired of watching...

I tired of everything...and I wish so much for everything.....

I'm human too...let this time to be emo..

TODAY, I CHOOSE TO.....

2009-11-01T22:28:00.000-08:00

Today, I choose to love,
For love makes all things beautiful,
And love cures all hatred.

Today, I choose to be contented,
For all that I am,
And all that I have.

Today, I choose to give,
For when you give of yourself,
You receive more than you give.

Today, I choose to say something nice,
For kind words do not cost much,
Yet they accomplish much.

Today, I choose to forgive,
For when you forgive,
You will be forgiven.

Today, I choose to be happy,
For when life gives me a thousand reasons to cry,
I'll show that I have a million reasons to smile.

Today, I choose to live life to the fullest,
For life offers many amazing things,
And life is wonderful if we know how to live it.

-by KAREN

COUNT

2009-10-27T21:38:00.001-07:00

Count your blessings,

instead of your crosses.

Count your gains,

not your losses.

Count your joys,

instead of your woes.

Count your friends,

and not your foes.

Count your best years,

instead of your leans.

Count your courage,

and not your fears.

Count your laughs,

instead of your tears.

Count on your health,

instead of your wealth.

Count on Jesus Christ,

and not yourself!

-by unknown

FIND IT, USE IT, LIVE IT

2009-10-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

I have always like to learn new things. I'll step in every door of opportunities that comes in my way. I like to be involve in something that interest me, something that feeds me knowledge, and something that keeps me on the move.

Since young, I have a lot of dreams and visions. But at times, the circumstances in life that are beyond our control makes your dreams to shatter. From where my dreams shattered, I try my very best to fix every pieces back together.

Although I have some knowledge about certain things, but I dare not say I master any. It feels discouraged at times, when people look down upon your 'incomplete abilities', and it makes you feel regret and guilty and ended up blaming yourself for getting involve in it.

I want to do so much more, but the sky is the limit. The feeling that you don't have the talent or ability to do certain things leads to dissatisfaction. And dissatisfaction leads to unhappiness. Soon, you began to loose confidence in yourself. Many times, we forget that the grass is greener on the other side, and we always take for granted on what God has blessed us with.

Sometimes, we have to make a discover on ourselves, on what we can do, and from there God will slowly bless and work into our lives because He wants us to be persevere and have faith in what we do.

Start searching now, as a Chinese proverb says "a thousand miles journey starts with a step". To achieve that hopes and dreams you long for, make the best out of what you already have in live. As a saying goes " when someone gives you a lemon, make a lemonade."

Never forget that everyone has a talent and achievements in their past that may not be immediately visible in the present.

4 DAYS AND 3 NIGHTS

2009-10-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I attended a camp organized by my college's CF (Christian Fellowship). The 4days 3nights camp at SUFES camp site, Tapah was really awesome. Along with our CF theme this year, Hearts Beat with God, there goes our camp theme- One Heartbeat. I must say all the activities conducted really reflects to our theme.

Being an outdoor type personally, I enjoyed every thrilling moment of the activities that was offered. Treasure hunt, stream trotting and obstacle course were a few to name. I even didn't miss the chance to go for a night hike event though it was not in the schedule. Apart from that, there were mini ice breaking games before every Praise and Worship session and the talks, group presentation and etc.

However, I sighed when I got to know that I was going to be the leader for one of the team named ECHAD (it means unity in Hebrews), I had no confidence to take up that role. But with all the support and courage shown by my team members together with God's strength and wisdom, we managed to bring the best out in us.

The talk conducted was really an eye opener to all of us. I was touched and felt like it was purposely meant for me.

Until today, the chronology of this camp is still fresh in my memory, as though it was yesterday. Despite some of us had lost our voices (because of the high spirit t cheer for their groups) but I think that somehow all of us had that something special/ specify that makes us to remember this day. For me, I've spent those special moments to know my friends better, and had opened the doors of my heart to accept new friends in my life.

Nevertheless, I've made a new resolution out from this camp.

-Praise the Lord for His mercies endures forever-

THE BEGINNING AND THE END

2009-09-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

Every beginning has to come to an end..or should I say every beginning will come to an end?

I'M BACK!

2009-09-01T01:46:00.000-07:00

Yea...I'm back! I'm back! Erm...not back from anywhere...just back again to this blog... Many people been asking about me...don't worry...I'm fine...thanks for all your concerns! Haha...have not been updating my blog..if I were to do so, there are actually so much things to write, but never mind.

Yesterday, I was tempted by chocolates and chips! And the time was midnight! Felt guilty after eating a whole lots of snacks! It's no use I went for a jog and cycled earlier that evening... Alright...alright...no use lamenting..it's already in my stomach and gone! Anyway, I seldom eat snacks....so it's no harm once in a while...hohoho....!!

O ya..these chocolates was given to me by my best friend! Lol...

This was my first time eating chocolate with CHILI flavour! It's spicy though...burned my throat...Lol!

I love dark chocolates!

Limited edition chocolate!

Well...who doesn't like this...

I don't know which to choose to eat!

Finally..I chose this!

I ate all these...I mean of course not the whole box la.

Me...enjoying...

This....!

Final consumption! The best liquid agent...I don't want to get sore throat the next day...

And today, I decided to jog extra two rounds and cycled faster....hope tonight I won't repeat this chocolate-eating-during-midnight-symptom...'coz this is not my first time!

DOES ANYBODY HEAR HER

2009-07-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

A song that make us realize that do we care about our friends or loved ones that are left behind, or those who need love to fill their emptiness in their heart...

MSN MESSENGER WITH GOD

2009-07-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

God: Hello, did you call me?

Me : Called you? No, who is this?

God: This is God. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me : I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I'm actually busy now. I'm in a midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me : Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's a rush hour all the time.

God: Sure, activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time, Productivity frees it.

Me : I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting you to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me : Tell me, why has life become complicated now.

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me : Why we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worry about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experiences, their life become better not bitter.

Me : You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lesson afterwards.

Me : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lesson (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me : Frankly, in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading.

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me : Sometimes, not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing your road ahead. You work with the compass, let others work with the clock.

Me : In tought time, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessings, not what you are missing.

Me : What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer, they ask "why me?". When they prosper, they never ask "why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me : Sometimes I ask, who I am, why am I here, I can't get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me : How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me : One last question. Sometimes, I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO!

Me : Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start a new day with a sense of inspiration.

God: Well, keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me, life is wonderful if you know how to live.

*Although I have tonnes of questions to ask, but I think God had simplify it and answered all my questions....I shall live with it...

OF A WEEK'S WORK

2009-06-22T01:58:00.000-07:00

I'm always thinking and wondering things, even if it's over. I guess I was never satisfied with whatever I did. Anyway, I better start to learn to accept things as it is the way.

It's been a long week for me. Monday blues was here. Person-In-Charge for CF meeting on Tuesday. I was very worried as I couldn't be in CF although I'm the PIC but somehow God made a way for me. English class was cancelled! Because actually I have class until 8pm on Tuesdays. Wednesday is also another hectic day. Have classes from morning 8am until 6pm, then have to attend church. (Not complaining, cuz I know that our labour is not in vain..:-p). When reached church, there was no electricity all over that area. We waited for an hour at the restaurant downstairs until I fell asleep. Haiz...

Thursday came, had to attend 1 miserable class from 10am-12pm. After that class, I went and did my assignment which I had to pass up the next day! At night, we had CF EXCO meeting in a cafe. Friday morning itself made my blood pressure rise sky high! Thanks to the usual public bus I take to college. At that moment, I told myself that it was not going to be a good day for me. True enough, when my friends and I were passing up our assignments in the office, we got scolded for no apparent reason by another lecturer which we don't even know. And yea, our lecturer was not there. Fine! At least in the evening, I got to released some stress by playing badminton (after 2years) with some buddies.

Saturday's here! It's CF CUP dude! First time attending CF cup, was a bit regretted for not attending last year's as I was still a freshie... This year is Captain Ball. I was in the white team, named Madagascar. I was lack of confidence of playing in the team 'cuz I am really bad at catching balls! Swt...somehow, as usual in a game, I'll fight t0 the end! And my team won the 1st runner up! Wohoo...glad to have such great team mates and most of all, thank God for His grace and mercy.

Sunday came, and again, the day started off with me getting on my nerves. Ok, forget about it. It's funny+angry+stupidity.... The main thing here is that I was the MC for a kid's talent competition in Sg Besi. I don't know whether I want to continue on with this MC thing or not. =="

No matter what happens everyday, some things will just have to be he same.

MAYBE...

2009-06-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

Maybe....we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe...the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe...the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe...the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe...happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe...you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss someone - a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child, so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around, you appreciate them more.

Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe, you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

-Life is only traveled ONCE, today's MOMENT becomes TOMORROW's MEMORY. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself.-

BUSY?

2009-06-10T22:59:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been caught up with so many things until I failed to realize what is what. You see, in life, we want to achieve so many things. But somehow, as a human, we never satisfy. We do things either with our own free-will, or simply just for experiences purpose, and maybe some, is being forced to. But I want to say that earthly things will not last. Our real promises that God had for us is eternal. And although we are busy, but I don't want to Be Under Satan's Yolk....

Last week, my church had a revival with Pastor Gabriel from US. Those five services that I attended had touched me. I felt God really spoke to not only me, but also many of those who attended. He had also prophesied the word of God, that makes Him real to me.

A lady in the church had said something to my brother which I overheard. She said : "Never forget your mother's faith. She is a woman with a strong faith. She held on 'till the end." Those words hit me. Yes, my mum. She was a strong woman, a woman with faith, she ran the race and finished it. She's now in a place where she can have eternal joy and peace.

*currently listening to Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), Amazing Love, and I Can Only Imagine. *

New Beginning In the Middle

2009-05-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

The weather is so hot. In the evening it rains cat and dog. A senior now...second year will be tougher as they say. New semester time table is crazy. First day and second day of the semester itself something happened..so embarrassing.

-Life is about choices. In life you have to choose, you can't have everything.-

PENANG YOUTHWAVE

2009-05-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

"Can I be the supporter only ah?"- That was my response to Alice who asked me whether I wanted to play floorball for the YouthWave in Penang. Yea..guess that I did not have enough confidence to play in a tournament. Then, someone said : "takkan you want to go all the way to Penang and cheer only, play lah!". Haha...true also... And so, I decided to take up the challenge.

Arrived in Penang on Friday midnight. Deswyn and Ping (the two hosts) picked us up from the bus stop and off we went to have our 'dinper' (dinner + supper) at a nasi kandar stall! Swt...I was longing for nasi kandar while we were travelling in the bus, but it's 12midnight...! If I were to eat, I think forget about playing in the tournament the next day.

Stayed at Deswyn's place. Didn't sleep the whole night (thanks to my cough), and so imagine have to wake up earrrrly and my face look like zombie! Never mind... Then the day arrives! Gathered at Tabernacle of Praise church, saw many Innebandians with their jerseys on. Of course we Salibandians also in our jerseys la....I felt so proud to wear it...haha...because it's my first time wearing jersey to play in a tournament! LOL...!

Travelled by bus to go up the hill at a sport complex in Balik Pulau. Before the first game started, I'm already having butterflies in my stomach! You know la..in this kind of situation...not only got butterflies, the bees and flies all also got...! Haha...Swt...

The Salibandian girls (I think they called us Salichicks??!) almost made it to the finals and if that's the case we might win a silver medal or a gold. But somehow, we made it only until the semi (or quarter I'm not sure, was blur..) finals, losing to the Innebandian girls! Haha...never mind, they're our sister mah... Congrats to them for getting the first place! Anyway, we played our best, and to come that far, I've never thought about it..We've tried our best, my pinkie was even injured in a sudden attack, and had a muscle cramp yet I played to the end! Yeah, that's the spirit!

On the other hand, our heroes (lol...it's the Salibandian guys) got 1st runner-up! Good enough! Haha.. Then, there goes the prize giving ceremony in FGA Penang on Sunday night.

The scene in the sport complex

Salichicks-From left: Me, Alice, Kar Yee, Wen Lin, Alea, Tasha and XinXin (she actually didn't play, so we put her in charge of taking care of our things, capture pictures and videos and cheers. In conclusion, she was our 'manager'! Haha!)

The Salibandians!

Salibandians + Innebandians

And we decided to treat ourselves good food that night at Gurney Drive!

Other than that, Saturday night after the games, we went for dinner and then look-see look-see somewhere that's got a bazaar...something like night market, just that it doesn't sell any food! After that, we went scrolling at the beach. It was warm though...no breeze...

There goes our antics, taking lame pictures...lol!

Sunday morning after church service, we went for lunch and had a 'visit' to historical places.

They had Asam Laksa and Chendol!

Look like one happy family taking picture!

The historical place-Khoo Kongsi

Inside Khoo Kongsi...(p.s, check out the sky!)

Some had to return to KL early because of some circumstances, and some stayed because they're gonna play in another tournament that is the Dalat Opens. Well, I went home on Monday.

This trip was worthwhile for me. Although we didn't go to much places, nor did we do many things, but I was happy to have a 'vacation' that can release my stress. And it's not whether we win or not, most important, we made it and I got to build a closer relationship with my friends. :)

IT'S A FUR-RY TALE

2009-05-05T20:36:00.001-07:00

Gah...these few days I'm having a tough time with the new 'tenant' in my house. Who else...the cat that was brought back by my dad. As I said earlier, this cat is so hyperactive and playful. It'll follow you wherever you go...you know...like when you get up early in the morning or when you just came home from somewhere...it'll run towards you and wiggle its tail...(swt...like dog only...)

Actually, kesianlah this cat...Because usually it'll be home alone while we all at school or work. So that's why when we are at home, it'll get 'manja'. And it'll show muka sepuluh sen (pity face) when you ignore it. My sister and I are always freaking out because all of a sudden it'll jump towards you. And we'll scold it as if it's a human...we'll go like: "Move away la you..." or "Don't disturb me!"...and when it purrs non-stop, we;ll say :"You better shut up ah!".....Haha...

Although it's cute (because of its muka kesianlah) but the nature of me disliking a pet make me irritated. Swt...this cat even has fur as black as charcoal and smoother and shinier than my hair! But, for your information, I never touch this cat even once!

And it likes to play with long stuff like ruler...string..shoe laces...strands of paper...the mop...hope don't go and pull my hair enough! And it has a 'itchy' teeth because it likes to bite our shoes and socks...yerr...

That day...I dreamed about a cat coming near me...see see it came to past...This creature came into my room and was on my bed! I freaked out and faster wake my youngest brother up...It was 5.30 in the morning...swt..

Oh...by the way...I just realize that this is a female cat and its not call 'Waggy'...it's BECKY! Wakakakaka!!Hearing problem....tak boleh tahan...!!

RANDOM POST

2009-04-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

Wow...just finished my exam...before that many things going on, but I'm lazy to post it...wait la one day..haha..

Anyways, I just came home from Penang...wonder why?? Check out the next post...
At the moment, I'm so geram because my dad brought back a black cat and named it "Waggy"....nonsense....you know I'm not a pet lover...some more the cat is so hyperactive. Now I have to close my door room 24/7 to prevent it from dirtying my room especially my bed!

Another thing is, panda kor (Kenny Ng) is leaving TARC to study at a better place, so to say... Just had a random dinner with him and sisterlies...well...remember the first time met him in CF, he was the E & F, like to bully people...haha...

Haiz...keep on wondering things and worrying about things...when all these nonsense will over...haiz..

OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

2009-04-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

I just don't know what and how my feelings are playing with me these few weeks. First, I felt disencouraged and demotivated, because of words that are not-so-wise uttered from the mouth from my very dear and near ones. Then I felt depressed. Worrying about things is just one thing, carrying the burdens I'm not supposed to carry, adds to the depression, and soon, I'm oppressed.

Other time, some incident happened that triggered the tears in my eyes. Deep down in my heart, I really wanted to show love and compassion...

At times, I felt so helpless and restless. I got so fed up of everything until I want to give up. I even told God that I don't want to cry the tears of sorrow anymore. But then, if live were a bed of roses, then I'll never get to taste what life is all about. I'll be one selfish human that sits at a corner doing nothing.

Someone once said this in front of few other people:"I'm so impress to see Karen every time with a smile, no matter what she is going through...". Yes, I laughed, I smiled. But I do cry, grief, suffer and angry. People might call this a hypocrite, but it's not. It's all by the grace and mercy that God had showed me, and that I managed to craft a smile every moment. And I too, chose not to put on the attire of 'emo-ism'.

Through all the toils and snares, my eyes slowly began to open wide. I realize that God is working in my life, moulding and shaping me...slow but sure. And, He's not finish with me yet, until I walk finish this journey to eternity. I want to hold on to God's promises.

There are so many things I want to say, but if I were to express and write it all down my frustrations and what I'm going through, it might take days to really read it. But, I don't need anyone to understand me, because only God knows me the best.

I'M A KEPT WOMAN

2009-03-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

''Attitude determines your success or failure."

I Am a 'Kept ' Woman?

You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,
But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)

There were times when I thought I could go no longer,
But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)

At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,
But the LORD kept my mouth shut.. (Psa. 13)

Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,
But GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)

When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.

When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)

I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!
I'm blessed to be 'kept '

Do you know a 'kept ' woman?

I'm "Kept" by the Love and Grace of God

TALENT OR TALENTS

2009-03-20T17:37:00.000-07:00

One of the question that I least like to be asked is "What is/ are your talent(s)?". The reason is simple. I do not know what is/are my talent(s).

The Little Oxford dictionary defines 'talent' as a noun, and it means- special aptitude or gift; high mental ability; people or talent. Most people over-looked this noun. They judge a person's talent by witnessing only their physical ability to perform a task.

All of us are gifted with something special by God. Everyone of us can perform that something extra-ordinary, by the grace of God. Don't always look at the dark side, always search what's within yourself, the bright side of you. Your talent might not be drawing the best picture, or singing like an angel, but that one little talent of yours by just doing something sincerely from the bottom of your heart, might change some one's life. The 'unseen talent', is what I call.

It could be just as simple as making some one's day by making them laugh or putting on a big smile on your face, or even lending an ear to a friend's problem. (hey, not everyone is a good listener!)

So, let us not see talent as a noun only, but also an abstract noun ( the words for qualities, things we cannot see or touch , and things which have no physical reality) like loving someone. Do also make it as a verb (what a person or thing does, and can be describe), like helping others.

Be it having just a talent or talents, learn to use that special gift in every way and be thankful and grateful that you and I are special because we are talented.

A reminder- those who think themselves are good, always remember that there's someone out there who is better; and if those who think themselves are bad, always remember that there's someone out there who is worse. In this way, we learn what is to call humbleness.

Have you found your talent(s)?

DAY BY DAY

2009-03-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

After the surprise birthday party that was 'organized' by Ying Ying and Wan Wei and Annie, I had another round of birthday dinner on Wednesday. It was to celebrate pastor's birthday and few of our church member's belated and advance (included me) birthday. So I had second birthday cake-Banana Chocolate Ice-Cream cake!

Thursday was my birthday. Other than receiving wishes ('till the very end of 1 minute before 12am to Friday), I had a treat from my boss' daughter at Sans Fransisco cafe. That's all. At night, I was cracking my head on packing my stuff for the CPR (Camp Planning Retreat) next morning!

The 3 days 2 nights stay at Dominic Villa, Genting Highlands was not for the sake of having fun! The purpose of it was to plan the year ahead for CF. Despite having meetings that dried out all my brain's juice, I really enjoyed the fellowship with all the committee members.

On the 27th of February, that is on Friday, 15minutes before the clock strive 12, CK, Alice and others suddenly surprise Alvin Lee with a birthday cake! As we sing along the song....."Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Alvin AND KAREN.....", I stopped breathing for a moment. Wow, I got a share in that song! Haha...felt like another surprise for me.

Although there's no candle for us to blow (I ate 3 birthday cakes but didn't got the chance to blow any birthday candle...so sad...!), we were blessed by the prayer from Adrene, for 22 years old Alvin and 19 years old me! Note,that it was 12midnight and I ate a large portion of the Almond Mocha Cheese Cake from Secret Recipe! Lol...really had a good feast this year's birthday..haha...thank you everyone!

After coming back from the camp on Sunday evening, I felt all worn out. Monday is the starting of the 3rd semester and I haven't prepared myself yet. Since the timetable is not out yet, I decided not to go to college. But somehow, someone just had to give a kick on my butt! My friend sent me the timetable and I had 10am lecture the next day! However, I'm pretty satisfied and happy with my timetable as I have no classes on Wednesday and Friday! Now, I can earn that extra pocket money...hehe...

Sigh, it's been 1 month now and my flu and cough has not giving me any help...

ADVANCE BIRTHDAY DINNER

2009-02-25T09:58:00.000-08:00

Ying Ying planned to take me out for dinner on my birthday which is on Thursday. However, I might caught up with something so I didn't promise her, although I really love to go. Somehow on Monday, she sms-ed me and said that her parents don't allow her to go out on that day and to make the day out on Tuesday. Obviously, I agreed on and she told me that Annie was coming along too. Felt happy and sad at the same time because Wan Wei couldn't join. So I began to pursue and nag her to ask her aunt's permission to attend the dinner. I felt guilty when Ying Ying told me that she got scolded from her aunt because of me! Gosh.... So never mind, after finishing my work in the office, I began to rushed to Mid Valley mainly because of 2 reasons- that I'm excited and I don't want to be caught in the 'sardin can' (LRT).

Ying Ying and Annie straight brought me to Gardens to have dinner at the food court. We sat and chatted animatedly before we could even order any food. Then there goes our antics....taking pictures non-stop...until I heard someone tapping me at the back and asked "excuse me miss, can I help you". At first I though it was a salesgirl or something. My brain worked slow somehow...after few seconds or so, only I realized its Wan Wei! I was speechless... I thought she's not gonna come, but there-she was standing and laughing non-stop upon seeing my facial expression. Suddenly, a tear of joy came rolling down my cheeks.

Me and Annie

Ying Ying and me.

Wan Wei and me. (Check out her face, she thinks she's a big drama queen!)

Well, we didn't had our dinner at the food court. (I think they brought me there just to surprise me with Wan Wei!) So, while walking to look around for food, all of a sudden Wan Wei entered a centered-court dining place. I felt something was amiss as usually we'll all agree upon majority to decide certain things. I put on an innocent face though. True enough, they brought in 2 'cakes' (don't know what it calls) and sang birthday song for me! Whoa....they said that birthday cakes are normal, so gave me something new to try.

The Oreo flavoured 'cake'.

The Tiramisu flavoured 'cake'.

Finally, we ate our dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. The food was simply delicious!

Some of the food served.

Dragon food??! Four happy friends dining.

For some reasons, I felt like a 'fool'. First of all, Ying Ying 'lied' to me about her parents scolding. Secondly, I apologized to Wan Wei for no reason (that when Ying Ying told me that she got scolded from her aunt because of me). But I know, they did that for the sake of seeing the smile that draws on my face and no doubt that I felt appreciated, loved and cared. How they plan everything? I don't wanna know....or perhaps you can view their blogs! Thank you Annie, Ying Ying and Wan Wei (and indirectly others)!

Oh...wanted a charm bracelet long time, and Ying Ying bought me this! Love it.

ALL-IN-ONE POST

2009-02-20T05:20:00.000-08:00

This might be the most out-dated post but as long as it updates my blog,who cares?! Haha! Ok...wow...this is my first post of the month...better than none right?!

Uhm..well, this year's CNY (Chinese New Year) celebration was not really a bang. In fact, I've never celebrate CNY with a bang before. Thought of going either Ipoh, Penang or Malacca for CNY, but because of eleventh-hour planning and of my indecisive attitude, I somehow ended up nowhere. (I mean I'm still in KL).

* 3 days before CNY, my siblings and I had reunion dinner with pastor's family. Ate steamboat and first tossing of the 'yee sang'!
* Next day, had special banana leaf rice at bro Aroul and sis Catherine's newly-wed-house.
* CNY eve, had another round of dinner and second tossing of 'yee sang' at uncle's house.
* 1st day of CNY- did nothing!
* 2nd day of CNY, had dinner in grandma's place. Third tossing of 'yee sang'! Haha!
* 3rd day of CNY, had lunch in aunt's place at Kajang! (of all the place....)

Fourth day of CNY onwards, I spent my time in my grandma's place studying the whole week! Oh...well...watched some DVD movie also...Hehe...After CNY, to be exact, on the 5th of Feb, I sat for my last paper. And wohoo...!! went outing at Mid Valley with few CFers the very next day. Because of bored-ness, went out again with Ying Ying's family to 1 Utama!

The next several days, I was as free as a bird. Wanted to karaoke, but all thanks to the flu, cough and sore throat! Anyway, went for an impromptu outing on Valentine's Day eve...! Sweat... Also, you know what you'll get when it's a holiday and have nothing to do??!

OUTING - (SLEEPING + EATING non-stop) = FAT + MONEYLESS!

And you'll get SICK occasionally.... Yeah...that's what I mean...my new formula...But now, I'm gonna be as busy as ants (or bees...whatever you like), 'cuz today is the fifth day I'm at work! Gosh...first day of work itself I hurt my finger with the stapler! Second day of work, I forgot to bring my hand phone! Swt...anyway, thank God for everything...especially this job.

And oh...I'll be attending a Camp Planning Retreat for the committee members of CF at Genting Highlands for 3 days. Yohoo!! Pray for it yea... 'till then, see you!

(p.s- Can't wait for the new semester to start...and well...kinda sad 'cuz no photo for all those happy moments...)

EXAM-MARES, EXAM-MESS & EXAM-CARES

2009-01-23T05:10:00.001-08:00

Not only I'm sabotage with 'exam-fever' during exam periods, but also other things that made me annoyed. First and foremost, is the exam night mare! I dreamed twice about exam, and it's almost the same 'storyline'. The dream was about I'm shopping in a shopping mall until I forget that I had exam on the same day itself. The best part is, I haven't revise finish the subject, and my friend call me to ask about my whereabouts. I almost went crazy and I ran from the shopping mall to college and the time left was only half and hour. I do not know whether I made it. Haiz...you might say 'what a dream'...but I think it's a lesson for me not to go shopping before exam and no last-minute revision.. Hehe... O..perhaps I think I got 'shopping disorder'.. Sweat...

Secondly, I messed up my exam answer booklet. I wrote 2008 for the date and wrote the exam subject's title under 'course'. Haiz..

The next two things are really annoying. I was in the exam hall sitting on my place before the exam starts when a girl passed me by and she hit my table, and my exam slip and ID card fell. She walked off without saying sorry or pick it up! I went red when the girl sitting in front of me swing her hair and 'sweep' my table after she had done with all the questions! She did that twice. I should have brought my scissors....!!

Well, that's what happen to me each time when I had to attend 'special occasions'...

EXAM FEVER!

2009-01-14T01:09:00.000-08:00

Yea...it's exam period and I couldn't recall when was the last time did I get a cold, sore throat and fever when I'm sitting for an exam. Really praise and thank God that this time, I didn't get any of those! It used to be so bad until I had to bring handkerchief and two packets of tissue in the exam hall and cough and sneeze until everyone's eyes were on me! Sweat....what an embarrassing moment..

This semester's exam particularly better than the first semester. Maybe because I have more time studying the harder subject. But too bad I can't enjoy for Chinese New Year because I still have to sit for two more papers after the celebration whereas my sisterlies (Ying Ying and Wan Wei) get to enjoy to the max because they finish their papers before CNY!

Haiz...somehow also we can't run away from these...all are beyond our control...

(p.s- At least I just finished my first paper-English!)

NEW YEAR'S OUTING

2009-01-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

Before the year 2008 ends, I told myself that I want to have an outing on New Year's Day. If no one wants to come along, maybe I just go shopping all by myself. Haha...but luckily some great soul came along as I invited them. So, Kenny Ng, Mabel, Belinda Leh and Jun were the one who join in the fun. Again, too bad that my two sister-lies Ying Ying and Wan Wei didn't join us, if not we sure rock 'da house....!! (O..I mean the shopping complex!)

First, we went Pavilion for a walk and had our lunch at Wong Kok Cha Chan Teng. Then we 'visited' the Times bookstore. Kenny Ng was like wanted to buy all the books that he come across with... Swt... Haha...that week he bought 2 books some more want to buy again... Go library and borrow lah!

Next destination was Plaza Low Yat. It was a rush though because last minute I mentioned that I want to get a pair of earphone and a pen drive. Worst still, the first floor escalator was under construction and hordes of people had to use one 'un-working' escalator to either climb up or down that particular escalator.

After all the rush, we finally went to Time Square to watch our movie Bedtime Stories. Had a good laugh though...haha... Since we have a bit of time, we went and look-see-look-see some stuff. I wanted to get a pair of sandal. After trying all the sandals in the world, I didn't even satisfy with any of it. I keep lamenting on until everybody got fed up and just suggested that we go for dinner at Marry Brown! Haha...sorry... Anyway, Belinda bought herself a blouse....Kenny Ng can't find his new shoe...blek...same case as me... Lol...

I'm glad that I can spend the moment with these great friends of mine. God bless!

HELLO 2009 & SO LONG 2008

2008-12-31T02:00:00.000-08:00

It's coming to an end.
31st December 2008 and 1st January is just a day away,
yet it's full of content.

I looked into the mirror, and saw the reflection of my life.
The path I've once walked, had taught me great lessons,
The road I've once travelled, had opened my eyes to see the unseen world,
The journey I've once explored, had open doors of opportunities for me.

It's so hard to leave the past,
but it's harder to accept the present,
and it's much more harder to face the future.

New year, is just another new day.
A new day to face new challenges, new hope, and new life.
New year is where I grow more mature, stronger and bear bigger responsibilities.
New year, is the end of the past, and the beginning of the future.

I had to say that year 2008 meant a lot to me and had change the perspective of my life.
Year 2008, is where I began my life in college,
where I found friends worth more than gold,
where I start to build up my skills for my passions,
and where God began to work His plan in my life.

Although I might missed out listing or recalling some meaningful event that took place in my life,
but one thing for sure, I want to stop embracing the past of bitterness and start appreciating the good old days.

No more new year resolutions.
Because everything will come to past, and brings it into a revelation.
I'll just lead a normal life as a daughter, a sister, a student, a friend and a child of God.
and live life to the fullest as life offers much great and wonderful things to be done.

And so here...welcome 2009 and so long 2008!

ANOTHER OUTING

2008-12-29T06:52:00.000-08:00

Today, I went Mid Valley Megamall with Ying Ying and her family. Actually before this, we were really sitting on the fan 'cuz do not know where to go: Time square or Mid Valley to watch a movie. And supposely, we wanted to watch Madagascar but unfortunately things went beyond our control and ended up watching The Day The Earth Stood Still. Before our show at 2pm, we went shopping. This time, I really shop! Haha... At last I bought a red Body Glove t-shirt! Wanted a red shirt long ago..sweat.. And a pair of sneaker caught the attention of my eye...but too bad it has the last pair that does not suit my size! I wana scream...! That sneaker is so cheap and the design is cool... Haha... Nevermind, I'll go Sungei Wang and check out at the same store.

After the show, we went MPH bookstore to buy my law statutes. Ya, I know, this is week 13 and exam is around the corner and now only I'm buying those statutes.. Okay, forget 'bot studies.. Haha... Went back to Ying Ying's house later and helped her mum cook dinner... Wow...can't resist her mum's cooking... It's just simply delicious.. Wonder now how Ying Ying is always healthy and strong... Wakakaka!!

Okay...finally before sitting here and blogging about what I did today, Ying Ying treated me with a piece of cheese cake and chocolate pudding with custard cream! Yum..yum!! You'll never go hungry no matter what time of the day when you are in her house..lol!

Since it's just a day where I spent my time with my best friend's family, we didn't really took any pictures. So, I'm just looking forward for the new year as it arrives and welcome it with an open heart.

ON THE 24th AND 25th...

2008-12-26T23:58:00.000-08:00

As I've said earlier, this year Christmas would be different from those years. Being able to involve myself in few events and activities, it added the essence of my life's journey.

During Christmas eve's night, I attended church service with my siblings. I'm glad that Wan Wei came along together with her non-believer classmate. This year's crowd was packed right to the edge of the wall. The programs lined up for us was praise and worship, a solo performance, Myanmar special and a sketch. I played the bad guy this time...oops...I mean girl.. Haha! After the preaching of the word of God, there goes the food. Everyone ate to their heart's content and chatted animatedly. We left the church 12am sharp!

The crowd before the event starts.

From left: Ikky, Wan Wei and me.

It's me in front of the non-lighted up Christmas tree. Basically I took this pic after the church service.

Me with my siblings.

Before the eyes of the heaven shines the earth, I woke up with much enthusiasm to prepare myself for an outing. Well, not with Wan Wei because she didn't get enough sleep (so do I) and was mumbling on with her eyes half-opened when I wake her up. (I overnight at her place) Haha! Cheer up..it's Christmas anyway! So then, we met up with Kenny Chan at Melati Utama LRT station around 8 something because he's gonna be our 'tour guide' for the day!

Well actually, I saw a newspaper advertisement about a play/musical with the theme "The Big Show" by the ACTS church in Subang, and it was a coincidence that Kenny attends that church, so we plan to go together. Also, later only I realise that the main character was played by a guy I once knew few years back. It's a small world after all! He's a pastor now by the way. Well, the play had a humorous yet touching story line. What I like most is the singing part. The casts can really sing! Since we can't take any pictures during the play, but we managed to catch hold some pictures of ourselves with the backdrops that are half-dismantle.

Wan Wei insisted on taking a picture with this 'info board' behind the church!

And then, we pulled Kenny along..

Kenny is trying to hold back the giant mic that was half-dismantle.

Love this pic though..

Last but not least before we left the church, we captured this pic.

We headed on to Summit Mall for lunch and did some window shopping. Well, only me I guess, 'cuz Wan Wei bought a sandal for herself! I just couldn't take my eyes off the things that have put on sale with the 4 letter word banner- SALE! Haha! But somehow, I overcome my shopping desires because I told myself if I would to buy any of these: handbag, shoe or clothe, I probably need to eat the 60cents Gardenia bread and walk to college for the next few days until my pay day arrives! Furthermore, it was a last minute shopping spree and I was not in the mood as I didn't shop for anything new this year's Christmas. It's over!

While we were checking out some stuff, we heard a group of choir singing the Christmas carols. As I turned my head towards the stage, I saw Belinda Leh! Our CF friend/ Kenny Chan's housemate was up there joining in the tune of Christmas songs! What another coincidence! I didn't expect to see her although she told me that she was going carolling and I could tell you , that she couldn't believe her eyes when she saw us! Haha! I was happy that she managed to join us for a quick shop and had a few lines to share with each other although in just that short 1 hour.

Yea..that's her- Belinda...

Before we could realize, it's already 5pm. Since the night is still young, we decided to go Sunway Pyramid. Kenny, Wan Wei and I were being so indecisive. We couldn't make a decision on whether we should ice-skating or watch a movie. Another problem is that, if we were to skate, Wan Wei and I are strangers to that game and it was expensive too. Even if we were for the movie, 3 of us wanted to watch 3 different shows! When we headed to the movie ticket counter, we were so disappointed that the time available for our show was either not suitable or the sits are full. And I guess that was being fair because at the end of the day, we watched the movie that none of us wanted to watch. "The Spirit" was the movie that kept the 2hours of the night going.

We always never want to miss the chance of taking nice pictures with nice backgrounds..

And yea..Wan Wei and I fought for Kenny's candy cane..and this is the outcome! She got the small portion on the right. Lol!

Finally, thank God that Kenny's friend was also in the mall and he gave us a ride home. If not, I think we'll fall asleep in the bus and LRT especially Wan Wei. Haha!

Another Christmas had passed, and I enjoyed every bit of it. At the same time, not to forget the true meaning of Christmas, because Christmas is not just about the party and food, Santa clause (or even santarina), Christmas tree and presents or snows. It is the day where Christ was born. In fact, everyday is a Christmas because our Lord does not only change people's life or perform miracles on 25th of Decembber every year, but since the day He was born. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

(p.s: I hope all of you had your special Christmas this year! Hope to celebrate with those I didn't get the chance to celebrate with this year in the next coming Christmas. God Bless!)

A BRIDE'S MAID DUTY!

2008-12-21T00:40:00.000-08:00

Before I start my bride's maid story, I want to apologise for the last post. I know it's very emo, I admit it, but once in a while we need to let go of our feelings, right? So I did it in my blog..that's my way of releasing tension..lol..! Haha...sorry to my friends who was worrying about me. I just wanna thank all of you who had given me the chance to be your friend.

Year 2008 is going to come an end in few days more, so I try my best to recall all the good times I had in this past 12 months instead of emo-ing. LOL! This post is kind of a bit late, because of some circumstances (I got the pics late). But anyway...and finally...here you go!

An Indian couple from my church tied the knot on 6th December 2008. We witnessed the whole event at Kanandiah Hall at Brickfields. Early morning that day, we went to our Pastor's house to prepare the flowers and get dress up. Although I'm just the bride's maid, but I still feel butterflies in my stomach. Haha! Then, here comes the 'wedding car'! Felt so proud first time sitting in the bride's car with the purple decorations around! Wonder when it's my turn to get marry.. (too much!)

6pm sharp, we walked down the aisle. Before pastor pronounce them husband and wife, our church choir sang a special song for the couple together with a video clip shown about their life's stories. Well, I felt so touched and happy for both of them.

The wedding reception won't go on completely without pastor's preaching. What pastor preached really opened my ear, so that I can ready in my years to come. Haha... I like what he said this: " Remember that when you are getting married, you are not only marrying the he/she that is present. You are marrying the he/she that is past and future." This is very true!

Then, the normal thing went on. Exchange ring and bla...bla...bla... When the time came for the bride to throw the flower, guess what, all the single girls went out. Of course, that includes me! Well, it's not that I want to get marry a.s.a.p, but it's for fun that I went out there to catch the flower! Even before the wedding starts, the bride said to me 'Karen, you better get the flower, then next year is my turn to attend your wedding'! Sweat.....I'm only how old...furthermore, no candidates available... Wakakakaka!!

Okay...then we eat to our heart's content... Indian wedding...obviously we ate Indian food. Haha...but it was delicious...as I like to eat spicy food...

As a bride's maid, you need to take care of the bride. But I went home early lol! It's because of some circumstances also... No..the bride don't mind.. Haha.... Anyway, take a look at the pictures below although it's just a few..

The couple and me. (Behind that guy is the song leader, unwanted in this picture, but accidently.)

Me and the two cute flower girls, and they are Japanese. What a combination wedding.

Can you believe I'm in the cover of a magazine?! Ya right... Haha! I look..erm...OLD!

IT"S TIME...

2008-12-18T23:09:00.000-08:00

I could not take this any longer...
My head's swimming...thinking of all those worries and troubles..
My eyes sore...seeing my love ones going through suffer and pain...
My ears hurt...hearing those words that makes me wanna give up...
My nose's freeze...as my breathing started to be cold and slow...
My lips dumb...I couldn't utter any more words...
My legs are tired...I couldn't continue running on the race...
My hands are numb...trying to reach the Lord once again...

I could stand no more...
It's time I learn to fall..It's time that I need to just give everything up...
Yes...give up... Give up the things that I hate...give up the frustration that I face everyday...give up the hurt and pain that is piercing through deep inside my heart...
I know..I've gone through 18 years of life journey...
Sad to say...the journey doesn't end here... There is more to come...
But I'm not ready...to face the challenge that is going to come against me...

Many times, many ways...I tell myself that it's ok...
But no matter how hard I try...I still finding hard to be me...
I don't want to shed the tears of sorrow and grief anymore...
I just hope I'll be ready...
When He calls me home...

EARLY CHRISTMAS

2008-12-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

It was 11th of December, and it was the earliest day I'm celebrating Christmas. This was not any normal Christmas celebration, as it's my first time celebrating in campus with fellow CFers. It was also the first time I involved myself in such big event, where my friends and I performed a sketch and mime in front of approximately 300 people.

The night starts off with a rocking band that plays the Christmas carols and the praise and worship songs. I can tell you that night the Holy Spirit was with us. One of Ying Ying's friend, a non-believer shed tears during one of the worship song. Then, there comes the sketch and mime.

Although in between the event occurred some technical problems, but somehow, anyhow, the whole event did turned out. I want to thank the committee members for giving me this opportunity to involve myself in this event and also others who had help out much in making this year Christmas night a success.

Most importantly, we acknowledged our Lord God. Whatever He put us through He'll make sure that we'll make it through. We did not do it by our own power and might but by the spirit of the Lord. And whatever we did, we did it whole heartily. Thank God that He made Himself real to us and make us realize that we do really need to take the second chance that was given to us.

EMCEE-ING

2008-12-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

I've always wanted to host an event or be an emcee but I never had the chance to do so. Even if opportunity comes in, I didn't had the courage and confidence to stand up on the stage and talk to the crowds. But recently, I was offered an emcee job for a kid's graduation ceremony and concert. At first, I was reluctant, but then I told myself if I don't start by now, then when only I can be able to train myself to emcee or host an event.

Actually, I've emceed before in my secondary school, but it was a small crowd. This time was a bigger crowd, and I had to speak in bilingual language, Mandarin and English. As the day past and I look back and began to evaluate myself, I found out that I need to improve a lot.

One of the obvious thing is that I can't crack jokes on the spot or spontaneously say something if there's any technical and non-technical problem occurred. I just feel awkward if I would wanna do that. Maybe because I like to be in serious business when it comes to big thing... Haha... Hope can improve on that... Another thing is that I depend on the script too much until I loose focus on the eye-contact with the audience.

Well, since it's over and I should be thankful that the whole program went well. My effort was paid by receiving a trophy (lol...get to collect another trophy after I left secondary school!) and quite a good pay. :-p

The trophy...!!

With my name on.. lol...

LAST MONTH OF THE YEAR

2008-12-04T00:22:00.000-08:00

It's the first week of December and everything seems to be so hectic. As usual when the last month of the year arrives, we'll hear people say 'this year passes so fast'! Maybe I think it's because everything happens in a blink of an eye, and we are all being caught up by our daily routines until we fail to taste the goodness of life that God had given us.

For me, December is the month that gives me the last opportunity to accomplish my dreams and hope for the year. It's also the month that I think I'll be the busiest person, emotion-est creature, and meaningful events that I will always remember.

The upcoming events that I couldn't ignore are:

3/12- My mother's 48th birthday which is the 5th year I couldn't wish her.

5/12- My best friend, Ying Ying's birthday! She'll be 18 lol....

6/12- Church member's wedding. I'm the bridesmaid!

7/12- Second emcee job for a children's concert in Rawang.

11/12- TARC Christian Fellowship Christmas night celebration. I'm acting in a skit and mime.

13/12- Sports carnival at campus and gathering dinner with fellow ex-primary classmate.

24/12- Christmas eve celebration in my church. Also acting in a drama.

25/12- Plan to go on an outing with my fellow siblings. (It's long time since we can have fun together)

28/12- My father's 55th birthday, which I normally don't wish him. (Don't know why)

31/12- New year's eve celebration.

That's the things I'll be involving in and I do hope that God will help through it all as I face every event with a thankfulness in my heart instead of a burden. As for my dreams and goals, obviously I won't tell it here. It's private and confidential. LOL!

FIRST PROM NIGHT

2008-12-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

When I first heard that there is going to be a so c
alled prom night organized by the school of business studies in campus, I told myself 'ya right, me? going for a prom night?!'. Well, actually I've never been to a prom night before and I'm always curious about it. I did thought of going but I was sure my best friends will just ignore my invitation because we know that we wouldn't have a date for the night! (What a thought!) At the end of the day, we decided to let our hair down and paint the town red.

Before the day arrives, I was scratching my head on what should I wear. My friends (and I mean Ying Ying and Wan Wei) went for a 'rush-hour' shopping spree without me because I did not plan to buy any new dress. I wore the red dress that I was suppose to wear it during last year's Chinese New Year.

Preferably, I do not want to describe how the whole event went on. For a first time prom-er (is there such word??), I think it's kind of...erm...boring... (no offence!) The set up and the props and the lighting were great, but I think they should work out more on the content of the event.

Although my friends and I did not had a date (no big deal anyway), we still enjoyed what we call a friendship bond. We try to make the best out of every single second we had with each other. The night was filled with our laughter and oh...shouting ('coz we can't hear each other in the midst of blasting music!).

Anyway, I'll consider another prom night. Hehe....

The backdrops for the night.. like the lighting and effects though

Ying Ying and me in the ballroom hall.

Wan Wei and me...

BUZY SATURDAY

2008-11-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

After a long happening week, where I had to submit 3 assignments and perform 2 presentations, finally, I can give my brain some break (just for this week, more coming up). Although I had to rush to many events (kind of) but I still enjoyed myself.

I started my day by attending dance practice in college. After burning some calories (been eating a lot lately), I met up with the editorial boards of Christian Fellowship newsletter. My day wouldn't go on without a nice delicious lunch (of course I meant rice) so we headed towards a Chinese restaurant after 2 hours of discussion.

Later at 3pm, Ying Ying and I watched a play at KLPAC. Well, finally I got the chance to watch a play after a long time where the first play I watched was Macbeth. This play, titled Crazy Little Thing Call Love was performed by the Footstool Players and it was really a good job! It gives a good knowledge about performing on a stage as I'm into performing arts. And oh..we bumped into our CF friends before the play starts. Didn't know they were going to, it's a small world after all.

Me, infront of KLPAC's lake.

The lake's view.

At night, we celebrated Ying Ying's brother birthday. And so, I ate all the food that was served on the table!

Gosh..my favourite dish!

Although it was a hectic day, but I preferred doing something better than doing nothing. The night ended with a nice peaceful sleep....

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS...

2008-11-13T17:41:00.000-08:00

One of the thing that triggers my anger is that when I'm over exhausted but I couldn't get enough sleep and this happens for a reason. My phone rings, my family members arguing, nightmares...all these happens in the wee hours of the morning that awakes me and then couldn't continue my sleep for the night. At times, problems, anxieties, worries just keep on floating in my mind that make me hard to fall asleep. I feel so restless.

The reason why anger will arouse in me is because during the next day, I'll be very emotional, easily get annoyed, angry at people (or even hate them) for no reason and bla..bla..bla... Just couldn't sleep at all for the whole night for no reason and this been happening lately. Tried counting the sheep and stars..tossed and turned on my bed, counted from 1 'till lost count, but...?!

Maybe I'm just over stressed, burned out, worried too much and so on. Sigh..I want to go for a holiday and give my brain a little break because it's so heavy like a bowling ball. Well, I wanted to attempt sleeping pills, but reminded myself that I should cast all my cares upon Jesus.

I SCREAM FOR ICE-CREAM!

2008-11-12T02:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, after finishing some of my assignment and afternoon class, I went and met up with my best friends-Ying Ying and Wan Wei. It was still early as later we are attending Christian Fellowship and so we headed towards the canteen to grab some finger food. (We are always eating). We didn't know what to eat, and suddenly Ying Ying suggested that we go for ice-cream!

Of course, we made a bee-line to the ice-cream counter. While ordering the ice-cream, both of them was arguing on who wants to give me a treat. (Oh..since when you both so generous?! Haha!) At last Ying Ying won! Well, both of them went for mint flavour and I've chose yam flavour.

While we were eating, we made jokes and took pictures. I know some of you might think we were being childish, but..hey...who cares! We had a great time and appreciated every single moment we had with each other because it is the joy that counts! *wink*

Me, enjoying my yam flavoured ice-cream.

We three are always clowning around..!

I'M SPECIAL

2008-11-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

Most of us, trying to be people-pleasing. We tend to do our best just to be presenteeism, not wanting to let people look down upon us or just the sick of pleasing those around us. When we think that we didn't do our best to satisfy that particular person's needs, we are letting our emotions to take control over us. We will be too self-consious and sensitive towards things that happen for a reason, and most likely we'll feel very regret and depress. Well, I admit that I do face this problem.
But at the end of the day, I began to realise that after all I am who I am. Why can't I just be ME? Why can't I just live a normal live and show my true self? The Bible also says that each of us is a complex and unique creation, fashioned by God Himself and it goes on to say that we are created in His very own image.

So, if you are in the same boat as me, remember this:

I'm special. In all the world there is nobody like me.
Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like me. Nobody has my smile. Nobody has my eyes, my nose, my hair, my voice. I'm special.
Nobody anywhere has my tastes-for food or music or art. No one sees things just as I do.

In all the time there has been no one who laughs like me, no one who cries like me. And what makes me laugh and cry will never provoke identical laughter and tears from anybody else, ever.
No one reacts to any situation just as I would react. I'm special.

I'm the only one in all of creation who has my set of abilities. Oh, there will always be somebody who is better at some of the things I'm good at; but no one in the universe can reach the quality of my combination of talents, ideas, abilities and feelings. Like a room full of musical instruments, some may excel alone, but none can match the symphony sound, when all played together. I'm a symphony.

Through all eternity no one will ever look, walk, think, or do like me. I'm special. I'm rare.
And as in all reality, there is great value.
Because of my great rare value, I need not attempt to imitate others. I will accept- yes, celebrate-my differences.

I'm special. And I'm beginning to realise it's no accident that I'm special. I'm beginning to see that God made me special for a very special purpose. He must have a job for me that no one else can do as well as I.

Out of all the billions of applicants, only one is qualified; only one has the right combination of what i takes.

That one is ME. Because.........I'm special.

-True self-worth comes from God-

I'M GETTING MARRIED?!

2008-10-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

When I attended one of our fellowship church in PJ last Saturday, out of the blue, a man came up to me, offering his hand and say 'Congratulations!'. I was shock and was wondering 'whoah..how did he know my result?' (my Semester 1 result was out on that day). Well, somehow I reluctantly accepted his congrates. Then, as my pastor's wife was passing by, she started laughing.

Obviously, I was blur at that moment. My face turn as red as tomato when she told me that the man was congratulating me of my wedding. What?! My wedding?! Guess what, this seriously must be a misunderstanding.

An innocent 12 year old boy told his friend (the man's 11 year old daughter) that 'Karen is wearing a wedding gown'. And that the girl went and told her father that 'Karen is getting married'! When I heard it, it tickled my funny bone and I started laughing out loud too. Well, the fact is that a couple is getting married in my church, and I'm suppose to be the bride's maid, wearing a dress, not a wedding gown!

Since then, everyone tease me of when is my wedding.

A BEAUTIFUL WORLD CAN ONLY BE SEEN IN THE EYES OF A HAPPY PERSON

2008-10-22T03:27:00.000-07:00

I found this story touching and decided to let you read it.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'

A POEM FOR HER

2008-10-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

'TILL WE MEET AGAIN
Every time when I look into your eyes,
I know that there are lies;
Are there things you could not understand,
Or words you could not comprehend?
Living in the life full of sorrow,
I know, you will still hold on 'till tomorrow;
Because every time when you fall,
You'll try your best to stand tall.
Years have past,
And His mercy still last;
But somehow He loves you more than any other soul do,
And now that you've gone, there left a hole in my heart too.
Sufferings on earth may be awhile,
But now for sure, you'll be in paradise all the while;
Every time when I face the trouble sea,
I won't grow weary, for I know you are watching over me.
Oh..how I hate to acknowledge your absence,
Although at times I could sense your presence;
Embrace me once again in your arms,
'till we meet again, when the right time comes.
-by Karen Phang

AN UNFORGETTABLE CAMP

2008-10-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

A 4 days 3 nights camp at Golden Sand Beach, Port Dickson had never been the same. It was my first camp ever with fellow TARC CF members, and yet it turned
out to be the most enjoyable and memorable one for me (so far). Gold, Glory,
Gospel, has much more to say than just a theme, and a RM135 fee was worth the
fun and excitement.

Every single day offers us a variety of programmes. From the least energy consume activity (such as group discussion) to games and activities that uses all our strength and might. Station games (where we had along the beach), mountain hiking (and it was the longest journey I've ever walked-4hrs!),tug-o-war to name a few.
On the other hand, we also had Praise and Worship sessions and sermons preached by Pastor Jeremy from FGA Church. What a great moment to gather together and glorify the name of the Lord!

I also appreciated on how the committee members came about all the programmes installed for us. Everything went smoothly and was well-organized. Thumbs up for them! Not to forget my ever joyous group ALEGRIA (well, the name says it all; it means joy in Latin) and also other camp mates who were so friendly and helpful.

Despite all the muscles pain and tiredness, I can say that everyone enjoyed to the max! At the end of the day, not only I got to learn new things (like giving stickers to those who break the rules..haha.. joking) and make new friends, but also had grown mature. Because I believe what matter most is not where we've been or what we've did, but who we've been with.

Above all, I would say that all glory and praise goes to God for He had grant us grace and mercy towards us throughout the camp.